Updated: Mar 26, 2020
At the end of the day we are all human. we are all deserving to love and be loved. this month is PRIDE month and in celebration of love I met with three different couples to capture the essence of their love & get their personal definitions and insight on their experiences of love.
Stefania Bussey & Anastasia Ryan
"I often think about my privilege as an out, white, cis-gendered and female-presenting queer woman and how it has had little to no negative effects on my life. I've lost no family, in fact, they literally don't care who I fuck. I have a supportive work environment and I live in a thriving gay cultured city. This is not the story for the whole community, obviously. I also spend several hours a month feeling very upset about all the potential grandmothers and grandfathers who were wiped out during the AIDS epidemic, who are not here today because of pure ignorance, discrimination, and hate. These are the people who fought for the freedom that I enjoy today so that I get to love whoever the fuck I want to. I celebrate pride for all of us, and I owe it to the brave and dead queer folks before me.
My experience with loving and enjoying women has changed how I feel about partnership and companionship. Before I was out, and dated men I was frustrated, agitated, panicked. I felt I had to become *gasp* a wife to a husband!! It felt uncomfortable, oppressive and just wasn't for me! With women I feel heard, I feel safe, I feel understood. I have genuine friendships with the women who hold me.
Anastasia and I are a new couple and we're building a relationship that prioritizes our own needs first while creating a very safe and cozy spot to explore our boundaries. It's very exciting to throw away what I was taught about a heteronormative relationship and instead create one that is full of different flavours of love, space, growth, and learning! She's a total babe and her brain works like mine too - our key ingredients are communication, self-awareness, and pineapples!"
"Love is the ultimate act of vulnerability. The courage to expose yourself entirely to another. Love is complete acceptance of another as a whole. Love is a commitment to learn and grow together, through the subjective good times and bad. Love is unconditional, sometimes changing in form or expression, never dissipating. Be it platonic or romantic relationships, friends turned lovers, lovers turned friends, those I’ve chosen to call family, these are the imperatives that have defined love for me."
Caroline Noble & Bronte McMaster
"If I could give a snapshot of myself now to 13-year-old Caroline, it would evoke a feeling of hope, that up until recently was never something I had growing up. I never thought that I would be able to love freely and without criticism. Love as a queer person is liberating. Love is understanding and loving someone no matter what their form. Bronte loves me for exactly who I am, and that is something that I am deeply thankful for.
It is not just the month of June that I feel proud to be queer. It is every day that I get to introduce Bronte as my partner, and no one bats an eye. The feeling of inclusivity and understanding, in a society that has just learned to accept those who are different. I am proud that I get to love the woman of my dreams and navigate the same spaces as everyone else. Thank you, Bronte, for loving me wholeheartedly and without restraint. I am deeply thankful for you."
"I think every person has a different meaning of love, but for me, I think it is the ability for you and a person to happily share every part of yourselves with each other. I think love means being with someone who you wholeheartedly support and supports you all the time, for big or small things in your life. My Nana always says the key to a long lasting love is respecting one another, even if it's just remembering to say please and thank you to your partner.
Love is a feeling that is almost indescribable to me and I find that it impacts everything in my life. Being in love is such a powerful and intense experience that is it hard to put into words because I've never felt happiness like this before. Every time I see her smile my tummy still does a little flip-flop because she is just so incredible and I feel so beyond lucky to be with her.
I love Pride because you can connect with so many people whom you support and support you endlessly. It is an amazing feeling to fully express yourself without worrying about judgment from people who know nothing about you other than who you love. I feel incredibly fortunate to have grown up in a very supportive family and live near Toronto where I can openly show my love."
Taylor Guitard & Danelle Jane Tran (DJ)
"Love to me is limitless. To love someone through change ~ to love again from pain. Its all about growth, just as a flower/plant can flourish after near death with a little help and care. To love is to also create safeness. To feel safe in this world can seem unimaginable at this time in our lives but as our community grows stronger each day, we begin to allow space for each other to feel that safeness we've always wanted. Safeness to be whatever and whomever we want, to live with pride and to allow others to thrive from our happiness. I am in love with loving, and the feelings I receive from my partner and my friendships. We are strong, but together we are stronger."
"All my life I have been afraid to be fully present (to be me), and afraid to love and accept love. Why? Because one of humanities greatest fears is the loss of love. This fear has held me back from being present. How can you love and give love if you are not 100%?
But over the last couple of years, I've been blessed to encounter people that are so open to love and showing love is helping me deal with this fear. Love is not something just to be seen, but to be felt.
What society lacks is love and the feeling of being safe in a space to share love.
We need to spread and teach love. Love can give the gift of courage. Be proud and heal with love."