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it's over.

Updated: Apr 3, 2020

Trigger Warning: the discussion is around the effects of modern beauty standards on young womxn and eating disorders*

Name: Gabriella Bevilacqua Age: 23 years old Occupation: Art Installation & Owner of @mazonvintage Current location: Toronto, ON

This is the first year that I verbalized that I had an eating disorder. It all started in elementary school when I began competitively dancing. It was a very inspiring to be surrounded by such talented and passionate women but you couldn’t help but feel like your body was an object. I started to hear a lot of negative comments towards body image and being very thin was apart of the ideal “ballerina” image, which I became obsessed with.

At my worst I was around 90lbs. People definitely knew something was wrong but never said anything. It was a deep dark secret I carried for years. I never went to seek help but I think going away to University, changing my usual routine and meeting new people who were very body positive helped with my healing. I retired from dance and found happiness in running and biking where I realized more and more how important it was to literally feed my body and mind.

Now, I really don’t know how much I weigh. I don’t weigh myself, but I am probably 150lbs and feel better than ever. I revived my love for cooking and baking, something I was very passionate about before experiencing a complicated relationship with food. I started casually modelling for my online vintage store (@mazonvintage), as well as for friends fashion shows and photoshoots, flaunting my wacky haircuts. It’s fun and also it made me feel comfortable in my own skin. I can confidently say that I don’t think of my body in a negative way anymore or let my relationship with food control my life.

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